You know what would make a great horror flick?
Sitting around a table with people you only see once a year and being asked a thousand times what you’re doing with your life.
- Why aren’t you married?
- Where’s your Doctorate?
- Why don’t you have a house yet?
Oh wait. This isn’t a horror movie or a bad reality show.
This is what real life will be on Thursday just with a side of turkey and gravy.
Sit down and relax! If it helps, we’re all suffering through enjoying Thanksgiving as much as you are!
So to celebrate this fine holiday, where we essentially black out because of potatoes and turkey, we have decided to dedicate this next blog post to Thanksgiving and the start of it all. Since amidst all the weird relative questions and eighthsecond slice of pumpkin pie, I’m sure you’re wondering….How and where did this weird holiday start?
Not too far from where KDanks and I grew up! Plymouth, Massachusetts!
Get ready for some fun facts you can use to distract your family from your horrible life decisions show off your intellectual side or use when you visit Plymouth.
Turkey Fact #1
The first Thanksgiving was held in the Fall of 1621 in Plymouth, Massachusetts and lasted three days which is roughly how long I need to recover after eating 3 times my weight in food. The festival celebrated the harvest and had approximately 50 colonists and 90 Wampanoag Native Americans in attendance. Visit Plimouth Plantation (that’s not a typo. I’m not an amateur) to experience early colonial life.
Actors are paid to pretend that they are indeed pilgrims (so they make look confused when you try to take a photo of them with your iPhone). And it will remind you about all the things to be grateful for and let me tell you, I am extremely thankful for indoor plumbing and central air after visiting Plimouth Plantation. #thankful #blessed
Turkey Fact #2
The Mayflower landed on November 11,1620 at the tip of Cape Cod (near Provincetown) and did not make it up to Plimouth until a few weeks later. The ship’s original destination was Virginia but due to storms, the ship went slightly off course.
Of course, if they had asked for directions from me or KDanks, they probably would have wound up in Asia. So props to them for still landing on the continent they were aiming at.
You can visit Plymouth Rock to see where the Pilgrims landed. Once you’re done starting at a rock, you can wander over the Mayflower to see where the Pilgrims spent the winter of 1620 (Please note this is not the real Mayflower. It’s just a replica, so don’t get too excited).
*Reminder this is the second post in a row, where I am telling you to go look at a rock. At least last time, the rocks I suggested were part of the Roman forum and had audio guides narrating their long and culturally important history.
This time, it is literally just a rock with 1620 carved on the surface. Yup. Super interesting. You’re welcome.
But we’ll move on to a speed round of some facts you can spew out while 3 glasses of wine deep.
Turkey Fact #3
Each year, the President of the USA pardons a turkey. There are so many sources arguing whether or not Lincoln or Truman started this tradition, but either way it’s weird. I have no idea why we still do this. I researched in an attempts to find an answer, but was unsuccesful (though if you’re curious, you can check out the research Obama’s white house did here).
As an FYI, this pardon only works on turkeys. You can’t dress a person up like a turkey and pardon them. So no, this won’t get your cousin, Kenny, out of jail. Sorry, Susan.
Turkey Fact #4
Only male turkeys can gobble, female ones are unable to.
I never said these facts would be useful. I will admit, this fact is about as dry as the turkey your Aunt Bertha made that you have to eat to be polite, but there’s gravy for a reason.
Turkey Fact #5
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is the biggest drinking night of the year. Finally! A fact we can all get on board with; Drinksgiving! Everyone is home for the holiday and looking to make bad decisions meet up with old friends and reminisce. This night is like a high school reunion except you’re way drunker than you intended to be and didn’t lose 10 pounds or have anything to brag about.
Get home safe from Drinksgiving! As you still have to tell your Great Aunt Margaret at Thanksgiving dinner, that no you’re still not engaged and still living in a shitty apartment with no prospects of owning a house. Can’t miss out on that fun!
Be safe and enjoy your Thanksgiving! I’d say keep it classy, but I have no intention on doing that.
Bonus: Other Things in Plymouth
Luckily Plymouth has much more to offer along with Plimouth Plantation, the Mayflower and Plymouth Rock. Check out the downtown area for shops and restaurants! You’re also a quick drive away from Cape Cod and only a ferry away from Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard. And if you are so inclined, you can even spend Thanksgiving down at the plantation.